By the third date most people have decided whether they're in. They've decided on chemistry, timing and how the other person treats the waiter. What they usually haven't done is asked anything that would change their mind. These are the five questions that most often do.
1. What are you looking for right now?
Casual, something serious, not sure yet, marriage-minded. It's the first question in the Pre-Date template for a reason: a mismatch here makes every other answer irrelevant. It is also the hardest to ask in person because whatever you say first sounds like a proposal or a brush-off. Answered privately, it's just information.
2. Do you want kids?
Yes, open to it, no, not sure yet. There is no negotiating your way out of a hard yes versus a hard no. If you know your answer, mark it Specific and let the score do the awkward part.
3. How do you handle a disagreement?
Talk it out now, cool off first, let it go. This one rarely ends things, but it explains a great deal later. Someone who cools off first is not ignoring you; someone who talks it out now is not picking a fight. Knowing the pattern before the first real disagreement is the difference between "that's how they are" and "why are they doing this to me".
4. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Same city, somewhere new, wherever work is. People treat this as small talk. It isn't. It's the question that decides whether a relationship that works today has anywhere to go, and it's the one that most often surfaces a year in, as a job offer in another country.
5. How do you feel about splitting the bill?
We include it because it's the question people fight about most, not because it predicts much. Its real value is as a proxy: it's the fastest way to find out whether you share rules about money, which does predict a lot.
Why a questionnaire instead of just asking
Because asking changes the answer. The person across the table is reading your face, guessing what you want to hear, and answering that. A questionnaire they fill in alone, on their phone, in three minutes, with the promise that you'll only ever see a percentage, gets closer to what they actually think. That's the whole product: five awkward questions, answered honestly, before the third date instead of the third month.